Performance anxiety

twocats I’m curious — do you have different performance anxiety when you play chamber music, or do you feel things the same way? One of the people in my piano group plays a lot of chamber music and she says that chamber music is a great way to help reduce this anxiety somewhat because the attention isn’t all on you. But I’m skeptical! I feel that if I were playing chamber music, I’d just have the additional worry of messing it up for others, instead of just for myself.

twocats I am hoping that it does in fact get a little better with experience.

In my experience, it does get better. It doesn’t go away or become a non-issue, but it absolutely gets better. And crucially, for me, I have been successful at implementing those techniques and getting to the point where I can do better and enjoy it more.

But just like other aspects of technique, it has to be maintained. At least for me anyway.

Sophia That man is twitching his nose, probably because he is trying not to sneeze while the person before me is playing, that's so considerate of him! (then you can give him a playful wink)

Not directed at your suggestion, Sophia, but when I read this an image popped into my head. I'm picturing being that man, waiting for my turn to perform, and seeing someone wink at me.

Sophia Truth be told, that's basically it.

If you're good at visualization, keep trying to visualize you're in front of an audience when practicing. I've also thought of practicing performing with a "cough track" playing, or with pencil sounds on paper (this really gets on my nerves when my teacher writes while I'm playing and I can hear it constantly, like how the pencil starts to sound as soon as you mess up something tiny...)

ranjit If you're good at visualization, keep trying to visualize you're in front of an audience when practicing.

I always felt that if I could regularly and repeatedly experience playing through the shakes, I would learn to not be bothered by it a lot more quickly. But I have never been able to recreate the true "shakes" during practicing or in any non-performance situation. Still, I agree, visualizing is really helpful. I also try to remember the shakes and what they feel like so I won't be surprised when they occur.

I've also thought of practicing performing with a "cough track" playing, or with pencil sounds on paper (this really gets on my nerves when my teacher writes while I'm playing and I can hear it constantly, like how the pencil starts to sound as soon as you mess up something tiny...)

I can totally related! I am pretty sure my hearing sensitivity jumps up when I'm practicing, and the littlest noise is amplified in my brain!

Not the piano, but at age 23, when I first worked as a professional (principal) cellist in an opera, I was extremely nervous when I had to play a solo. Things didn't necessarily go well, and at those times I felt I didn't deserve the job. Over the years, the situation gradually improved to the point where, when I had to play the extremely difficult solo in the opera Tosca (almost nothing is happening, the stage is dark and static, no singing, and there is just a low murmuring of strings underneath - in other words, completely exposed), I managed without difficulty.
It was a long and sometimes uneven road to that point, though.
I remember speaking with another principal cellist (of the symphony orchestra in the same city), and he said that musicians who never have never had to play those kinds of solos really have no idea what it feels like, and that there is no substitute for just putting yourself in that position, well prepared, and hope for the best.
I think there's a lot of similarity between that and performing a solo on the piano with the exception that at least as a solo performer, no one else in the ensemble/company is relying on you!
So that's something positive.

twocats I don't think think it was nerves from the crowd, just being in a totally different setting.

Yes!

Last summer at the Tonebase piano camp, I tried playing a couple of pieces in the recital. It was the first time I'd played for more than 3 people in 60+ years.

I had one rather egregious memory slip, out of which I eventually extracted myself. But the whole situation reminded me so much of what Josef Hofmann had to say about the reliability of memory.
https://www.beachbunnysoftware.com/music/JosefHofmann-DifferentPlaces.pdf

I have actually practised with the radio on, but I could too easily ignore its chattering...

ranjit I have heard of one suggestion to run a few miles and then sit down at the piano and perform to try to mimic that feeling.

It is interesting, because you'll play with a pounding heart. However, what if you mess up badly in that situation? Would it make matters worse?

twocats This sounds like meditation! My husband keeps saying that it would be good for me.

Oh, I always said I can't meditate, but maybe I'm doing it already?

Animisha It is interesting, because you'll play with a pounding heart. However, what if you mess up badly in that situation? Would it make matters worse?

I don’t think so. The idea is to experience playing despite the physical reactions.

In my experience, when I’ve had a performance that hasn’t gone well due to nerves and shaking hands, and then had another performance soon after, the second one always goes better. This happened to me last November, when I played in the (mostly kids) recital held by my piano school, and then two weeks later I played at the concert at the retirement center.

These two performances where the first time I’d played in a truly public recital since before the pandemic. And even though I’ve played publicly a lot, I somehow don’t retain the feeling of shaky hands very long, so the first recital, I just couldn’t get control of my shaky hands. For the second one, I think I was just less surprised by the feeling.

So back to your question, @Animisha , I would think that the thing to do would be to do the “pounding heart” practice more than once, not in the same practice session, but a few times over the course of a week. Then if it goes badly the first time, you have a few more chances with it.

ShiroKuro I have a cold, but the moment it is over and I am crossing away on my cross trainer again, I'll play the piano immediately after.

twocats I didn't bomb it but it wasn't ideal either. Then there was another time when I said "Now I'll play I'm in the mood for love" and some old guy in the back yelled out "You bet we are".