Performance anxiety

ShiroKuro Lastly, I’ll repeat what to me is the most important point: when you feel nervous, the single best thing to do is just forgive yourself and focus on the music. Let go of the desire to “not be nervous” and accept that begin nervous is part of it.

I don't do public performances, but this is something that has helped me a lot with lessons. Over time, I've come to accept that I'm going to be nervous and not play as well as I did at home. Accepting my nervousness has not made me a better player at my lesson, but it has made lesson days a lot less mentally taxing.
One thing that always throws me at my lesson is how different the piano at my lesson sounds from my piano at home. I have at times stopped playing because I thought I was playing wrong notes. The sensation goes away quickly, but it is there every time I sit down at the piano and start playing. I usually have the opportunity for a couple of minute of warm-up and those couple of minutes are enough to get my ears adjusted. But I do have to adjust.

twocats Today I went to a super casual playing event at someone's home, and on the drive over I imagined myself walking up onto a big stage and I got pretty bad anxiety just from the imagery! And then when I played my piece (not a difficult one) I was so thrown off by the bright lights and the unfamiliar piano that I played a whole bunch of wrong notes. I don't think think it was nerves from the crowd, just being in a totally different setting.

If you tell yourself not to think about pink elephants, of course all you can do is think about pink elephants. So suggesting that you not think about walking onto a big stage is not very helpful. But perhaps you can work on substituting some other, less anxious imagery. Maybe envision your own piano room, or previous occasions when you've played in front of others. Imagine the piano sounding different, but playing through and getting satisfaction from playing for others. As I mentioned above, I don't perform in public, so take what I say with that in mind!

twocats I’m curious — do you have different performance anxiety when you play chamber music, or do you feel things the same way? One of the people in my piano group plays a lot of chamber music and she says that chamber music is a great way to help reduce this anxiety somewhat because the attention isn’t all on you. But I’m skeptical! I feel that if I were playing chamber music, I’d just have the additional worry of messing it up for others, instead of just for myself.

twocats I am hoping that it does in fact get a little better with experience.

In my experience, it does get better. It doesn’t go away or become a non-issue, but it absolutely gets better. And crucially, for me, I have been successful at implementing those techniques and getting to the point where I can do better and enjoy it more.

But just like other aspects of technique, it has to be maintained. At least for me anyway.

Sophia That man is twitching his nose, probably because he is trying not to sneeze while the person before me is playing, that's so considerate of him! (then you can give him a playful wink)

Not directed at your suggestion, Sophia, but when I read this an image popped into my head. I'm picturing being that man, waiting for my turn to perform, and seeing someone wink at me.

Sophia Truth be told, that's basically it.

If you're good at visualization, keep trying to visualize you're in front of an audience when practicing. I've also thought of practicing performing with a "cough track" playing, or with pencil sounds on paper (this really gets on my nerves when my teacher writes while I'm playing and I can hear it constantly, like how the pencil starts to sound as soon as you mess up something tiny...)

ranjit If you're good at visualization, keep trying to visualize you're in front of an audience when practicing.

I always felt that if I could regularly and repeatedly experience playing through the shakes, I would learn to not be bothered by it a lot more quickly. But I have never been able to recreate the true "shakes" during practicing or in any non-performance situation. Still, I agree, visualizing is really helpful. I also try to remember the shakes and what they feel like so I won't be surprised when they occur.

I've also thought of practicing performing with a "cough track" playing, or with pencil sounds on paper (this really gets on my nerves when my teacher writes while I'm playing and I can hear it constantly, like how the pencil starts to sound as soon as you mess up something tiny...)

I can totally related! I am pretty sure my hearing sensitivity jumps up when I'm practicing, and the littlest noise is amplified in my brain!

twocats I don't think think it was nerves from the crowd, just being in a totally different setting.

Yes!

Last summer at the Tonebase piano camp, I tried playing a couple of pieces in the recital. It was the first time I'd played for more than 3 people in 60+ years.

I had one rather egregious memory slip, out of which I eventually extracted myself. But the whole situation reminded me so much of what Josef Hofmann had to say about the reliability of memory.
https://www.beachbunnysoftware.com/music/JosefHofmann-DifferentPlaces.pdf

ranjit I have heard of one suggestion to run a few miles and then sit down at the piano and perform to try to mimic that feeling.

Hmmm maybe I’ll try that. We have a treadmill. And an exercise bike…

I have actually practised with the radio on, but I could too easily ignore its chattering...

ranjit I have heard of one suggestion to run a few miles and then sit down at the piano and perform to try to mimic that feeling.

It is interesting, because you'll play with a pounding heart. However, what if you mess up badly in that situation? Would it make matters worse?

twocats This sounds like meditation! My husband keeps saying that it would be good for me.

Oh, I always said I can't meditate, but maybe I'm doing it already?

Animisha It is interesting, because you'll play with a pounding heart. However, what if you mess up badly in that situation? Would it make matters worse?

I don’t think so. The idea is to experience playing despite the physical reactions.

In my experience, when I’ve had a performance that hasn’t gone well due to nerves and shaking hands, and then had another performance soon after, the second one always goes better. This happened to me last November, when I played in the (mostly kids) recital held by my piano school, and then two weeks later I played at the concert at the retirement center.

These two performances where the first time I’d played in a truly public recital since before the pandemic. And even though I’ve played publicly a lot, I somehow don’t retain the feeling of shaky hands very long, so the first recital, I just couldn’t get control of my shaky hands. For the second one, I think I was just less surprised by the feeling.

So back to your question, @Animisha , I would think that the thing to do would be to do the “pounding heart” practice more than once, not in the same practice session, but a few times over the course of a week. Then if it goes badly the first time, you have a few more chances with it.

ShiroKuro I have a cold, but the moment it is over and I am crossing away on my cross trainer again, I'll play the piano immediately after.