Never ________ while playing piano

rsl12 · 2024-06-21T13:33:04+00:00

I'm working on a song. Quite possibly I need lyrics for the upcoming PT recital! How would you fill in the blank? Never ________ while playing piano If you...

Bellyman

"pick your nose" LOL!!

rsl12

Bellyman I can definitely use this. If no one else chimes in, I'd say the chances of your idea showing up in my song are 80%.

Pallas 😒

Stub cookies are the worst, a glass of water is good but a little dangerous, bananas leave no crumbs but there's a chance your keyboard smells tropical for a few days.

rsl12

Performer: rsl12 (USA). Piano has been a hobby for decades. First half of my piano life was focused on classical, but now I'm into jazz.
Piece: Always Chew Your Food by Trout Fishing in America (Keith Grimwood and Ezra Idlet) with additional lyrics by rsl12 (inspired by Bellyman and maybe a little by Pallas )
Comment Policy: Critical Comments: Anything goes!

Source of music: Improvised accompaniment, improvised solo.
Recording method: I recently upgraded from using my phone to my new Blue Yeti microphone! I just put it on top of my piano and aimed it at my mouth as best as I could.
Additional info: To motivate my daughter to keep practicing flute over the summer, we arranged for a two-family end-of-summer recital, where everyone from our families was to participate. She and her friend did a duet, and I did this song as a voice-guitar duet with the friend's mother on guitar. For this Pianotell recital, I added a piano accompaniment and few additional lyrics based on feedback from some of you. As you may know, I've been working on voice for a few months now, and I think I'm getting better! I'm unfortunately on the tail end of a cold with a lingering cough and sniffles. Sorry for the gross body noises!

Trout Fishing in America is a Houston-based duo that makes fun folk songs and also quite a few children's albums. Here is their version of the song, if you're interested.

Pallas

juggle knives
(because every piano group has to have someone to side-eye, so I may as well volunteer 😜)

Stub

Think about how nice a snack would be right now. You will need to stop playing, get up and get your snack, eat it, then wash your hands and sit down at the piano again. Meanwhile, twenty minutes has gone by.

Pallas

If you say what kind of mood you're going for, I can help a bit more.

If you like pick your nose

There's also:

Change your clothes
Strike a pose
Touch your toes
Sniff a rose
Eat at Joe's

...

When I'm doing a group project, it's really for the best if I only raise my hand once per session tho.

rsl12

I would say I'm looking for a kid's song vibe. An activity that plausibly you would want to do while playing a piano.

Pallas

rsl12 An activity that plausibly you would want to do while playing a piano.

AHAH! Good clarification!

You can probably tell some of my favorite poets are Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein, neither of which is terribly concerned with plausibility! But the clarification should help you get suggestions that are more useful to you!

twocats

rsl12 I would say I'm looking for a kid's song vibe. An activity that plausibly you would want to do while playing a piano.

When I read the first sentence my first instinct was bathroom humor. Then I read the second sentence 😂

rsl12

Still, if you have an idea that ventures into PG-13 or R territory, I will consider it!

Rubens

Drive

rsl12

Rubens In the past I have kept a melodica in the car. Just for the long red lights.

Do I dare ask if a Melodica counts as a piano??

rsl12

twocats By controlling your sphincters, you can create tension.

Sgisela

I was initially going to say ‘smoke,’ as I had in mind a certain piano that had an ash tray built into a cheek block! But given it’s supposed to be for kids, maybe ‘watch cartoons’ or ‘eat a big Mac’ or ‘eat a Dairy Queen blizzard’.

Bellyman

Sgisela I was initially going to say ‘smoke,’ as I had in mind a certain piano that had an ash tray built into a cheek block!

It is interesting seeing some older pictures or videos where musicians were smoking. I think of a Bill Evans photo where he's got a cigarette hanging out one side of his mouth. I think of several videos I've seen of Frank Sinatra workin' on a cigarette as he's performing on stage. And there are others.

Can't lie, sometimes the raspy tone of some of those smokers is kinda appealing to some of us who don't smoke and don't have that "edge" to our voices. But I'm still not gonna take up smoking.

Oh, and I almost forgot... there are the Oscar Peterson types... I don't know if Oscar ever smoked, I didn't think he did, but he always had his towel perched somewhere on the piano and would grab it and wipe the sweat off his head, didn't matter if it was in the middle of a song or not, the other hand just kept on playing and most people would never know the difference. LOL!

rsl12

Sorry I've neglected this thread so long! I should clarify that I'm not writing a song from scratch--I'm adapting an existing song for use in the August recital here. Some of your input is definitely going to make it into the lyrics! I think I'll keep the specifics a secret until the recital.

Sgisela I was initially going to say ‘smoke,’ as I had in mind a certain piano that had an ash tray built into a cheek block!

That is crazy. Was it removable? How would one get the ashes out (and if it's removable, then isn't it a waste to add to the piano?)

Bellyman Can't lie, sometimes the raspy tone of some of those smokers is kinda appealing to some of us who don't smoke and don't have that "edge" to our voices. But I'm still not gonna take up smoking.

Hm, I would never think that! But I do agree that listening to a smoker's voice brings back some nostalgia, as there aren't so many crooners these days that do.

TLH21 Not based on a true story by the way, but on a song my father used to sing when I was a kid:

Great song!

MRC There's a passage in Patrick Süskind's book Die Geschichte von Herrn Sommer where the fictional author, remembering his childhood, tells the story of a fatal piano lesson with Fräulein Funkel.

What a story!! Thank you for sharing it.

MRC

— wash your hair
— brush your teeth
— do your nails
— sign a cheque
— throw a fit
— scratch an itch
— call the cops

keystring

--- pet a porcupine

thepianoplayer416

Answer your phone.

You see videos of orchestra performances. All of a sudden somebody’s phone starts ringing. Sounds like it’s coming from the clarinet section. The person who owns the phone keeps playing and pretends not to notice. Then the conductor stops. Everybody look towards the direction of the ring. The clarinet player smiles and gets embarrassed…

Animisha

sneeze!

MRC

Animisha sneeze!

There's a passage in Patrick Süskind's book Die Geschichte von Herrn Sommer where the fictional author, remembering his childhood, tells the story of a fatal piano lesson with Fräulein Funkel. He is playing a duet with her, and keeps playing an F natural instead of an F# at a particular point. She gets angry at him and hits the note several times, saying "That is an F#". Then she has to sneeze. She wipes the snot from her nose with her finger and hits the note several more times. She thus deposits a large booger on the F# key. When they repeat the passage, the boy cannot bring himself to touch the disgusting mess on the key, and therefore in desperation once more plays an F natural. Fräulein Funkel goes into a tantrum of rage and throws him out.

Stub

Bellyman It is interesting seeing some older pictures or videos where musicians were smoking. I think of a Bill Evans photo where he's got a cigarette hanging out one side of his mouth. I think of several videos I've seen of Frank Sinatra workin' on a cigarette as he's performing on stage. And there are others.

Can't lie, sometimes the raspy tone of some of those smokers is kinda appealing to some of us who don't smoke and don't have that "edge" to our voices. But I'm still not gonna take up smoking.

Oh, and I almost forgot... there are the Oscar Peterson types... I don't know if Oscar ever smoked, I didn't think he did, but he always had his towel perched somewhere on the piano and would grab it and wipe the sweat off his head, didn't matter if it was in the middle of a song or not, the other hand just kept on playing and most people would never know the difference. LOL!

I recall seeing a YouTube of Martha Argerich working on a piece at the piano and she had a free standing ash tray (on a pedestal) and cigarettes just to the side of the bench, within easy reach. She looked to be in her thirties or so in the video.

PianoMonk

Bellyman Frank Sinatra? Raspy tone? Both Frank and Dean Martin smoked, and like you said, often had a lit gasper while performing. Two of the smoothest crooners ever. Judy Garland and Sarah Vaughn smoked.
I once went to a Dionne Warwick concert, had a great seat, could see her offstage taking the final drags before coming out. John Lennon and Paul McCartney smoked, as did Crosby, Stills and Nash. Joni Mitchell smoked. Not a raspy voice in the bunch.
On the other hand, Tom Waits, Dr. John, Joe Cocker and Janis Joplin were smokers. Jimi Hendrix and David Bowie smoked, too. Probably more to do with genetics than tobacco. And, no, I never smoked, other than the odd Newport the drummer in a band I played in during high school would offer.

TLH21

Store your chewed gum on the fallboard.

Not based on a true story by the way, but on a song my father used to sing when I was a kid:

thepianoplayer416

Never drink coffee (or tea). If you have a spill, it's going to affect the action. Coffee into a DP would ruin the internal circuit.