Time for some moderation?

In a way I'm glad that the honeymoon period is over. It was not going to last anyway. Now we see what we are really dealing with. It's not too bad...yet.

Rubens but things never stay the same! Even if it was the same group of people, we all change over time.

For a hot minute there with that negative poster I also felt like the honeymoon period was over and maybe I didn't want to be here anymore. But the truth is that there are many more supportive and nice people here than the bad, so why let one or two people ruin this for me? I can choose not to interact with them anymore and I know that others have my back. I may make some use of the Ignore feature even if it's not as effective as I'd like

twocats we all change over time.

Do we, though? It's interesting I recently discussed this question with a friend. He believes people can change, I don't. In my view, if you see a person "change" into another person a few years later, it's really because their "new" self was already part of what they were in the first place. In other words, they already had it in them to begin with. In any case, how often do we really see people change anyway, especially for the better? Maybe I'm a pessimist, but think about all the "bad apples" who have been polluting the PW for years. They were bad apples when they joined, and they are just as bad if not worse now.

Rubens In other words, they already had it in them to begin with.

That may be true, but what matters to me is their outward behavior. I do see that one person over on PW is much better behaved than they were years ago.

And yes, there will be people who are always unpleasant but not breaking any actual rules or people who want to stir up trouble. The best way to deal with those people is not to engage, both for your own mental health and to prevent them from having additional fodder for argument. I am the first to admit that it's hard to be the bigger person but it is remarkably effective

Coming in late to this thread and I just wanted to apologize for being a little absent here (still unpacking!) but I'm grateful to everyone for their commitment to keeping PT a nice place to be!
It's inevitable that difficulties will crop up from time to time, but I think PT will be ok, thanks to all of you here!

We should definitely all try to be the bigger person. But I admit I do struggle with that sometimes because it makes me look fat.

Sometimes there's a mismatch between those who post from an emotional perspective - which, IMHO, tends to be opinion-based - and those who are posting from a reason-based perspective re factual stuff. Room for both but the combination can be like oil and water and can go downhill fast. But stepping into this mismatch can invite trouble from both sides. (Long ago, on a training course, I, a mere male, stepped in try and moderate/calm/ or whatever a furious argument between 2 women participants. They both instantly turned both barrels on me. It was a good lesson!) I'm reasonably happy with argument as long as it's not a personal attack and where everyone genuinely accepts it's mostly opinion anyway. To extend it a little further, gratutious attacks on matters dear to others, eg a favourite piano, composer, genre, VST etc. can also be inflammatory. I for one tend to get all fired up - but try not to respond - when something I hold dear gets trashed. I may not like composer A, but trashing him - it's usually a him - can be seen as trashing those who like that composer.

PianoMonk I could not agree more, well said

Killomiter

I'm not a great sailor I'm afraid.
Last year we sailed under a bridge that was too low and the engine hit the bridge. Then the rest wanted to go back, again under the bridge but this time without an engine. Then we had to push ourselves forward against the ceiling of the bridge with our hands. But I freaked out because some sort of claustrophobia and I jumped up, so I was holding the rail of the bridge, hanging above the water. I hope nobody was filming it.

guidelines from a successful online community:
https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
See "In Comments" subsection at link.
Not all apply but some are relevant.

I'm know I'm new here but haven't seen the fangs come out here like I have in other places. I suppose it's good to have a few basic rules and someone who is capable of doin' the forum version of smackin' someone upside the head and tellin' 'em to behave / knock it off (and I suppose the power to delete a post or put someone in a time-out if necessary).

"Be nice" covers most of it. And people disagreeing civilly is fine.

So true, Bellyman. I actually love it when people disagree with me or show me where I'm wrong, because that way I learn.

What I don't like is when the message is delivered in a belligerent, know-it-all voice that's both pompous and overbearing. I'm so pleased that this doesn't happen here in this forum. In fact I don't think anyone with that type of attitude has signed up yet. I don't consider anyone superior to me, because I know that no one is beneath me. Mutual respect goes a long way!

I also agree that the forum moderators are all beyond awesome

I also wanted to chime and say thank you to @navindra for thoughtful leadership and stepping in when necessary, and to the amazing moderator team of @BartK , @ShiroKuro and @rsl12 for everything you are doing to keep things friendly and inviting for new and old members alike!

I'm late to the discussion. Regarding downvotes--imo that's asking for trouble. People can vote down for any number of reasons, some valid, others not. At any rate, it's making negativity public. People differ as well as to how likely they are to use like or dislike buttons. I don't like 'like' buttons, so I don't use them, but it doesn't mean I don't like a particular post.

Maybe I'm not visiting enough of the subforums, but I'm not seeing contentiousness on the rise. If it does, the mods should be the ones deciding when it's progressed from brisk discussion to argument to contentiousness. A forum needs to have room for disagreement. I know I have learned a lot over the years from the back and forth of people with differing opinions/facts.

For posters whose posts I've found from long experience to not be interesting to me, I do a mental Block/Ignore and just don't read them.