Simonb

Thanks everyone!

@navindra re the shakes, exactly. I never get the shakes while trying to record.

I also don't get the shakes (not the real shakes, like yesterday) when I play for people at my home. There, I'm in control, I'm usually playing more than one piece, and also I'm not sitting in an uncomfortable chair listening to 8-year-olds murder "In the Hall of the Mountain King" for 45 minutes immediately prior!

I never experience the shakes when I play at home, I don't get them in my lessons.... And I didn't get them a week or two ago when I played the piano in a lobby here on campus while random people were walking around.

Also, @navindra , no, not that kind of pedal! It was a bluetooth foot pedal for turning the pages on my iPhone.

On breathing, yes, thank you everyone, that's now on my to do list! :grin

@Sam

I wish I could say it gets easier, but that has not been my experience! But I keep doing it for some reason...

No, it doesn't exactly get easier, but in my experience, it gets more "do-able." I have conquered the shakes before, I can do it again. I'm just rusty (thanks, pandemic.

Well, not even "conquer" the shakes, that's not my aim (because I don't think it's possible really). My goal is to co-exist with the shakes so that they don't derail me.

That's why I wanted to play in yesterday's recital in the first place, just to feel that and remind myself, or relearn, how to co-exist.

@Simonb and others re concentration etc. This is absolutely a mental problem, moreso than a piano/technical problem. Although, having said that, I went through and listened to the recording and marked several spots to zoom in on over the next week or so during practice.

But it's really about concentration and controlling my focus.

One time when I talked about this with my teacher, he said "you need to find more things to pay attention to in the music" which I think is a really interesting way to put it.

@Pathbreaker

Wow, thanks for sharing that story and congrats on your performance. I can almost feel it myself! You're mostly able to play without thinking about it except that you can't completely do that.

Exactly! I think in the spots where I tripped up, I was relying too much on muscle memory. And when I lost concentration, I didn't have "articulated" memory or enough attention on the score to easily recover.

I read "the Inner Game of Music" years ago, I decided now is a good time to start reading it again.

Because I think that, right now, what I need to hone more than anything else is my inner game.

But I feel so motivated now to do it! Which I wasn't expecting. I didn't think performing,and flubbing up, in this recital would have that effect. This wasn't a true "crash and burn" (I've done that, this was no where near that bad). But usually have a performance that doesn't live up to my ability or expectations, I'm disappointed. Not now.

Hmm, is that a good sign or a bad sign? j/k

Thanks everyone, lots of food for thought here! And also, I feel very encouraged! I'm definitely going to play this on Sunday!

@Simonb yes, I'll be playing with the score out. I always use a score in a performance situation.

@Nightowl , those are great comments, thank you! Re playing multiple pieces, the recital I'll play at this Sunday only allows one piece. It's the concert I'll play at in late November where I plan to play three pieces, and this piece (Sept Song) will be the middle piece.

re your comment here:

You play the piece in a steady way, but I think the issue is that you are not differentiating enough between the lengths of short and long notes

This is such an interesting comment! I think it's because I'm playing with some degree of "fear" -- IOW, fear of messing up, fear of getting lost or fear of moving into the wrong next section.

@Player1

I like it very much and if you played to that standard at the recital you'll do extremely well.

Never compare yourself to a professional.

Thank you for the nice compliment! And the important reminder!!

@twocats

I take it back

No, no, don't!

Jokes aside, my teacher uses the term "convincing" -- this was in the context of me talking about the parts where I'm not playing it as written, and he'll say "yeah, it doesn't matter as long as it's convincing."

I think your original reaction shows that I'm still not there yet, because how I played it wasn't quite convincing. It's getting close, but not there yet.

he's written it so it's a little off-beat but it's intentional! I would try to play it softer and more delicately in the left hand like he does

This, definitely. Ffrench is excellent at voicing, and he brings a softness to spots where I'm just pounding desperately at the keyboard ....