• Pianist Zone
  • Your identity (besides liking pianos or being a musician)

Rubens Let's hear it for corny stuff! It is not a piano song, so doesn't fit in here.
It is a multitrack recording of various vsts, acoustic guitar and vocals. (I use the term 'vocals', loosely, as contrary to popular myth, not all 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿men can sing!😞)

I am an academic (for better and worse 🙄
I teach and do research, and I recently accepted additional responsibilities (program coordinator). My professional life and professional activities are important to me and form a big part of my identity.

I’m sort of smack dab in the middle of my academic career, I recently got tenure, moved to a better institution (got tenure here), am running several research projects, supervise grad students…

But I also value work/life balance and try really hard to preserve some free time for myself. That didn’t work well last year, my first year at the new institution. In the fall semester, I pretty much worked seven days a week for about four months straight. It was awful. The spring semester got a little better, and I hoping the coming year will be even better.

So although my professional identity is important to me, and I care deeply about the work I do, I also don’t want it to take over my life.

Balance is hard to achieve and even harder to maintain.

    Animisha After my declaration, nobody dares to write anything more in this thread! 😲

    That was sweet of you! Kinda hard to know what to say after that without getting way out into the weeds. 🙂

    Also happily married here, too. First time didn't stick after 13 years. Second time happened 23 years ago and we have a good thing goin'. Wish I coulda started out with her. We were the "middle aged newlyweds" for a lotta years and then other people started being married less years than we were. Kinda sneaks up on ya.

    Anyway, could get to be quite a lengthy post...

      ShiroKuro Balance is hard to achieve and even harder to maintain.

      My impression is that this is especially difficult in the US.
      When I worked in Child Psychiatry, we had to clock in and out on an electronic punch clock. At first, I disliked it, but I came to love it. If we worked more than 40 hours one week, we could work less the other week.
      Due to patient confidentiality, we also had no access to any of our files or mail when we were not at work.

      So you are struggling within a system that is not made for individual balance. That is why it is so difficult.

      *
      ... feeling like the pianist on the Titanic ...

        Bellyman We were the "middle aged newlyweds" for a lotta years

        We have now arrived at an age in which young people call us cute! 😅

        *
        ... feeling like the pianist on the Titanic ...

        Animisha My impression is that this is especially difficult in the US.
        [cut]
        So you are struggling within a system that is not made for individual balance. That is why it is so difficult.

        Yes, this exactly. There are a lot of things wrong with America (we won't go there) but work culture is definitely one of them.

        Look at all these old couples speaking like lovebirds. Meanwhile I'm here with the missus and our 21-year marriage and the feeling is certainly not the gushing love that I see from the posts above. More like two friends with the comfort of an old pair of socks. But good socks, and clean enough.

        Hmmm...

        In the quiet of the night, as shadows fall,
        I find solace in the silence of it all.
        The world outside seems distant, yet so near,
        A fragile thread of hope, a whispered fear.

        I'm so glad you haven't called in that hitman yet,
        Because I'd really like a few more years to forget.
        The mistakes and the pain, the sorrow and regret,
        To find peace in the moments we haven't met.

        Life's a journey, winding and unsure,
        Each step a dance on a tightrope, so pure.
        With every heartbeat, a promise, a plea,
        For a chance to live, to simply be free.

        In your eyes, I see the storm's unrest,
        A tempest of emotions, a silent protest.
        Yet here we stand, on this precipice of fate,
        Two souls entwined, as we navigate.

        I'm so glad you haven't called in that hitman yet,
        For the future holds dreams we haven't set.
        Together we'll find a way to mend,
        To cherish the days, until the very end.

        --
        If you're a zombie and you know it, bite your friend!

        Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the violin ....

        Well, you did say you wanted a corny love song! 😛

        --
        If you're a zombie and you know it, bite your friend!

        Bellyman Everything in your post, pretty much mirrors my own journey, especially the '23 years ago' ! 🙂
        So I am going to crank up the corn level to 11 and post a link to my corny love song!

        Here goes!

          13 days later

          HeartKeys When one talks about things such as what they like, or what they do, or have done, it sometimes comes off like a resume, or sounds like boasting. And, many people feel so connected to their work, or interests, that they may consider those things to be what defines them as a person, or how they’d like to be remembered. While others may see certain undefinable aspects of that person, which might also depend on the relationship with said person, family vs. strangers, for example. As individuals, we can hope that others see us as we would like to be seen, but it’s kind of out of our hands. So, in an attempt to answer the original question, for those who might be interested, see my profile, then judge for yourself.

          5 days later

          My non-musical identity … well, I am a husband to a wonderful wife, a father to three beautiful daughters that are in college or will be heading to college soon. I used to be a FIRST Lego League robotics competition mentor for several years. In “real” life, I am a U.S. patent agent working for a law firm in Houston. I came over to the U.S. when I was 21 and stayed ever since. I speak American and German. My non-musical hobbies are endurance horseback riding (AERC), e.g., 25 miles, 50 miles, etc. I “met” my soulmate horse (6 year arabian gelding) as a catch rider at an endurance competition. “Catch rider” is when you ride someone else’s horse during an event. We completed a 30 mile race together and soon thereafter I learned that he was for sale and I bought him. I also like all kinds of technical things, e.g., band equipment, digital mixers, generators, LiFePo batteries, solar, you name it. It is a pleasure to meet you here and looking forward to sharing our piano experiences.

          navindra Oops! Sorry about that, Navindra.
          Should be working now. Be careful what you ask for, lol!

          18 days later

          I have some experience designing and posting webpages online. I also enjoy photography. In my younger days I took classes in drawing but didn't go very far with it.

          I am Karyn, 74 years old, although one poster in PW said "I do not behave like someone in their 70's". It felt very offensive and it was very hurtful, however now it's water under the bridge I hope. It still hurts though. ...
          I have been married since I was 21. Actually I was previously engaged to a medical student when I was at university but that never worked out, we were very young and immature.
          My husband and I have a son who I wish would settle down in life, but I have faith! My husband and I are close and still love each. We are always together, but marriage in the long run is something you have to work at..its not just chocolates and roses, and it can go through difficulties. Always show respect and love to your partner and say you are sorry if you need to.
          I would say that I identify very closely with the piano, music and art. I taught music for many years at schools and was a registered piano teacher although I no longer really practice. My teaching ended in 2020. Some people here I know find me difficult because I identify very closely with my piano, so be it, that's trecorda!!! I do not apologize for that. Whether I "make it" here or not remains to be seen
          Tre

            trecorda What an absolutely lovely introduction! A warm welcome to you again, trecorda.

            You'll always have a home here if you wish it. I'm making @ShiroKuro personally responsible to ensure that... (sorry, no pressure SK! you're just a great ally to one and all) 🙂

            trecorda Absolutely agreed and I consider that the model to follow.

            Hi

            I retired just before the pandemic in 2020 at the age of 58. I worked to live, and as soon as I didn't need to work I stopped! I'm an animal lover and have a Burmese cat called "Herbie". All my cats have been named after Jazz Pianists. So previously I've had cats called "Oscar" and "Bud".

            Unlike many on here I'm not married or indeed in a relationship, except with Herbie (who runs the house). The only relative I'm close to now (and have always been) is my sister, who is also into music and plays the Flute. Sadly my Dad passed away in 2002 and my Mum last year.

            I'm something of a film buff, and in my life have belonged to 2 unofficial film clubs.

            The first was founded in 1982 with a chap I used to work with started with the advent of renting videos. We used to take one day off a month on a Friday and watch films (normally 2) in the afternoon. This went on until 2017, by which time he'd retired (14 years older than me) and re-married and moved to the north of England, hundreds of miles from where I am.

            The other club started in 2002 with the advent of DVD's. Two friends of mine (one a musician) were all in the same Astronomy club and we started meeting on a Tuesday evening to watch a film. With occasional Saturday night viewings as well. This one is still going.

            I read a fair amount, ride a motorbike (in good weather) but my life largely revolves around music. In the 2000s I completed a degree with the Open University (which included their music diploma), and I'm currently playing in a Big Band (very amateur), studying classical Piano, play in a Pop/Rock Band, host a Jazz Jam once a month and attend a fortnightly Pop/Rock Jam night.

            Cheers

            Simon
            All round average Jazz, Blues & Rock player.
            ABRSM grade 8 with merit 2025.
            Working towards Trinity ATCL diploma in a few years!