The Mental High-Wire Act of Piano: an Invitation

Pallas · 2024-06-14T13:16:47+00:00

I've been studying the piano for 10 months, mostly by myself, with a total of four lessons with a teacher. My piano story is in another thread and I won't re...

Pallas

Stub If you are at all spiritual, it will teach you about faith. You have to believe that all that time and effort you are spending now on technique and practice will yield fruit when you get to those big pieces you really want to play, because that certainly isn't evident right now.

My husband struggles with faith, because he is not spiritual. So he has to enter faith by way of science, by observing that any endeavor requires a leap into the great unknown. A scientist in a laboratory worked hard to get a PhD hoping to one day make a discovery. She doesn't have any evidence that she will ever make an important discovery, but she takes that risk anyway. Some call it faith. Carl Sagan called it romance! But it leads us in the same direction, into the unknown on the chance of a beautiful discovery. Thank you so much for adding this to the conversation. It's so important.

Pallas

HeartKeys In this book, the author discusses the mechanisms by which our brain creates narratives/ stories about ourselves, and strategies and tactics, to use such mechanisms to our advantage, versus to our detriment.

I think this is a very important distinction. It's very important for the stories we keep to act to our advantage. That requires the will to do deep self examination and testing. Is this narrative truly helping me? There are sometimes dead ends in our thoughts decorated to look very inviting and comfortable. I've sat in some comfortable, safe, dead end stories about my capabilities for years, not getting what I wanted. I believed I wouldn't be able to tolerate the discomfort of doing what it would take to accomplish my goals. I still have a painting studio I don't go into because the fear of failure, and the discomfort of making less than genius art hurts too much. But practicing piano is helping me get there, because I haven't yet loaded piano with the huge expectations that plague my art and writing practices.

Thank you again for your comment. I can't wait to read that book.

Sophia

In absolute terms I haven't even played as long as you have Pallas, though of course it took me a lot less time to catch up with whatever skills I had learned in my earlier years.

I'm finally learning that in order to move forward, I have to go back regularly. In the past, after feeling I struggled enough with a piece that I found challenging, I'd plod on with the next, which would go worse. Then the next piece, even more terrible. I figured I had reached my ceiling and give up altogether. Oh well, I just don't have what it takes, let others do all the struggling... the end.

But this time I went about it differently. Now any time I feel stuck, I go back to earlier pieces. Sometimes that means Alfred 2 from scratch again, or Thompson 1, or even when I feel particularly low, I go back to Alfred 1 and start from absolute ground zero. Of course by now I can always play those very early pieces with ease, especially if I go over them a few times again to jog my muscle memory. Even the few pieces that I skipped before are hardly any struggle at all - just sight read and play. That way even Kumbaya and Jolly Good Fellow become somewhat palatable! 🤪

Then a week later or so, I get to my current piece that I previously struggled with - and all of a sudden, the ceiling has vanished and my brain/skillset has made room to go on with newer pieces. It's a nice lesson to have learned and like yourself, it only took me 50 years 😃

And of course now I have you guys to natter about my piano non stop, that helps too 🥰

Pallas

Sophia I figured I had reached my ceiling and give up altogether. Oh well, I just don't have what it takes, let others do all the struggling... the end.

Just so I'm understanding you clearly, I'm going to summarize (please correct me if needed): You had a starting strategy, and because it wasn't helping you progress the way you wanted, an unhelpful story presented: that not progressing with that one strategy meant you "just don't have what it takes." But you chose to try a different strategy, which is working better for you. May I ask, what was the more helpful story that opened the door to trying something different?

Sophia

Pallas May I ask, what was the more helpful story that opened the door to trying something different?

My strategy in the past was, basically, "the show must go on". If I just continue onwards, I'll learn piano (or guitar, because it happened there as well) eventually. But it didn't work that way. it would get harder and harder until I would hit a rock solid ceiling and eventually give up.

But this time I learned (from Youtube teachers at first and from experience now) that there is no such thing as a ceiling, just plateaus. But I just don't like to be "stuck" for too long (probably a personal thing, as other seem to be happy to spend weeks on a single piece). So instead of struggling onwards, I find it works for me to go back instead.

So this ties in with your original question, how we are learning what is the best way to go about our learning. I don't have all the answers yet but at least I haven't been stuck to the point of giving up - and I believe that this strategy will probably help me going forward indefinitely from now on. WIN 🙂

Nightowl

Sophia:

Now any time I feel stuck, I go back to earlier pieces. Sometimes that means Alfred 2 from scratch again, or Thompson 1, or even when I feel particularly low, I go back to Alfred 1 and start from absolute ground zero. Of course by now I can always play those very early pieces with ease, especially if I go over them a few times again to jog my muscle memory. Even the few pieces that I skipped before are hardly any struggle at all - just sight read and play. That way even Kumbaya and Jolly Good Fellow become somewhat palatable! 🤪

Then a week later or so, I get to my current piece that I previously struggled with - and all of a sudden, the ceiling has vanished and my brain/skillset has made room to go on with newer pieces.

Similar strategy for me, except I never found JGF palatable! 😄

@Pallas - There's no need to be balancing on the high wire. Just sit at your bench, relax and trust that every practice session will slowly improve your skills.

Pallas

Nightowl There's no need to be balancing on the high wire. Just sit at your bench, relax and trust that every practice session will slowly improve your skills.

I'm always very glad to meet someone who does not suffer from anxiety! But the "high-wire" is, of course just a metaphor for the push and pull of the different mental skills I'm talking about. The reason I wrote this post is because some of us struggle with things others don't, and visibility can help folks feel less alone. I'm sincerely super glad it's easy for you to "just" sit, and trust, and so forth! Carry on doing that!

Pallas

Nightowl Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you so much for explaining what you meant. I got confused.

When you said:

Nightowl Pallas - There's no need to be balancing on the high wire.

...I must have misunderstood what you meant.

The "high-wire" metaphor is about mental skills I have needed to learn in my study of piano, so now I'm wondering, in your comment, are you saying there are no mental skills you personally need to learn in your study of piano? (Therefore, "no need to be balancing on the high wire?") Because that would also be awesome!

Pallas

Sophia I don't have all the answers yet ...

😃 When you become omniscient, please don't forget about the little people! 😃

Sophia there is no such thing as a ceiling, just plateaus

I like this belief much better.

Sophia

Pallas I like the affirmative "when", no ifs and buts about it right? 🤣

Pallas

Sophia I'm a believer. I believe in you! 🤣🌈

Nightowl

Pallas: "I'm always very glad to meet someone who does not suffer from anxiety!"

You're mistaken, I do suffer from anxiety. Just not about the piano, because it's just a hobby to me. Nothing dire is going to happen if I don't progress quickly, and if I run out of patience I can drop the hobby any time I please.

Nightowl

Pallas,I just noticed your recent post "I still have a painting studio I don't go into because the fear of failure, and the discomfort of making less than genius art hurts too much. But practicing piano is helping me get there, because I haven't yet loaded piano with the huge expectations that plague my art and writing practices."

Interesting use of the word "yet", as though you feel that you might be in danger of doing exactly that. There is a useful expression that seems apt here: Try not to let perfect get in the way of good enough.

Would it be so bad if you remained at intermediate level for years and just played pieces that you like, within that range? Because that is the sort of scenario I'm visualising for me, hence my sign off. If your piano ambition is sky high, that's a valid choice, but it could make you very miserable if you're unable to attain the lofty heights that you set for yourself.

Pallas

Nightowl Each time I read one of your comments, I get the sense of being roundly told off for being such a nerd. (Oh, you're too serious! Oh, you think too much!) 🤣🙃🤣 I get the sense that you consider my preferred learning methods to be "10,000 portions of jellied brain," and that I've got no sense of humor, and I can't possibly be having fun with my "effective skill building."

(((Have I got a really boring story about what I used to do for a living before I retired??? I do!!!)))

I hate to break it to you, but I'm all about the fun. My house is all media tie-in toys, Lego bricks, a big clumsy husband with aspirations of being the next Weird Al Yankovik, and every dang joke I tell is punctuated by loud, stinky pug farts. I am just a big goofball. I just also enjoy learning things very deeply, at great thundering detail, like a 9-year-old who can't stop talking encyclopedically about their favorite dinosaur.

Yes, one of my many interests is piano. No, I will never be a concert pianist. No, that doesn't bother me in the slightest, and no, it won't stop me from wanting to be able to play Beethoven sonatas one day. Will I fall apart if I never play the Pathetique? Of course not. Does that mean I shouldn't have it pinned to my ceiling? Of course not! And does any of this mean I think every adult learner should have a teacher, and be force-fed music theory, & be told they're terrible if they don't read music, or don't like classical music, and they should perfect every piece in every method book ever? Heavens to Betsy. Jeez Louise. Jeepers Creepers, no. I'm 100% Let People Like Things. AND Let People Dislike Things. Whatever you personally want out of piano is good, valid, worthwhile, and awesome. So is what I want. It's all good.

Thank you for your kind concern, but my anguish about my art studio is not about perfectionism as it might have seemed. It's about the time-honored question of all troubled children: Do I deserve to be happy? Of course the answer is yes!, but some of us have trouble allowing ourselves to have nice things, regardless. Thank you for asking. Thinking about how to answer your questions really helped me think about what's important to me, and what I need to do next:

OBVIOUSLY, it's to go into my studio tomorrow and start painting a portrait of my piano. (Let's be real: at this point, a painting will have to happen between timed 20-minute practice sessions of your very FAVORITE piece in Alfred Level 1: The Entertainer! I bought that rainbow timer. It's next to the hygrometer on top of my pampered piano.)

It could be worse. Some of my friends knit socks for fun. FOR FUN, can you believe it?!

ranjit

Don't lose faith, there is someone out there who does have the answers.

This is regarding teachers. I've often had to look for a very long time to find teachers who had answers to things I wanted to know, to the point where I wondered if they even existed.

Josephine

ranjit

I've never had a hobby before where you know so much that you don't know so much.

I'm now struggling with 'how do I know if my interpretation sounds good, when I don't know what a good interpretation sounds like'. I don't know if I know what a good interpretation sounds like. I know what I like, but is that worth something if I don't have musicality? Do I have musicality? I don't know.

Pallas

ranjit Thank you for the encouragement! I love receiving it!

ranjit

It is possible to learn to predict how long something will take to learn. It is possible to improve within a single practice session if you do it right.

ranjit

Josephine I'm now struggling with 'how do I know if my interpretation sounds good, when I don't know what a good interpretation sounds like'. I don't know if I know what a good interpretation sounds like. I know what I like, but is that worth something if I don't have musicality? Do I have musicality? I don't know.

This is so hard. Trying your best to validate your views with other professionals has been what has helped me with this. Also, playing in public and seeing what people do and do not respond to. It is not a perfect barometer, but the wisdom of the crowd does work sometimes, especially for popular or accessible pieces.

ShiroKuro

Josephine I've never had a hobby before where you know so much that you don't know so much.

Nicely put.

I have always thought that this is one of the biggest things that makes piano difficult for adult learners: we have self-awareness and a lifetime of experience listening to music. So we know how far away our ability is from what we listen to.

That can make it painful sometimes.

Nightowl

I found this little gem on YT. Different instrument but a great example of happy hobbyists. I defy you not to smile when you watch it. 🙂
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Gooseberry

Pallas much of what you say rings a bell with me, but I would like to refer especially to the point of maintaining an effective balance between ego and humility, though I would probably put it differently. As someone who got used to being a competent learner, and for many years a successful professional, I found it particularly hard to admit that learning to play the piano was something that would not come at all naturally to me, or at least not as easily as any other thing I have tried and learned. It was a painful realisation, and at first made me quite unhappy. After giving it some thought though I decided that the mental skill, or the approach, I would like to acquire as a remedy was to be able to scale back the seriousness (ego) and be more playful (humility) about piano. In this regard I think I understand and share @Nightowl's standpoint of this being just a hobby. If it is just a hobby, then I don’t really need to excel in it, nor do I need to worry that my progress is not fast enough, I can just sit on the bench and concentrate on my practice, be playful, and fully enjoy every moment of it 🙃

I also made the same discovery that @Sophia describes. Here I must explain that I was quite familiar with dealing with plateaus, because they are perfectly normal in language learning, but somehow I didn’t recognise them as such in the process of learning piano. And like Sophia, I thought that I had just hit a ceiling when after a relatively quick progress in the first year, suddenly it seemed that I couldn’t go any further. Again, it was a painful feeling. So to console myself, I bough a book of very easy pieces, such that I could learn and play to my satisfaction in a couple of hours or in one day at most. After going through that book, I tried a more difficult piece and it went surprisingly well. Happiness and faith returned! Since then, I have applied this strategy repeatedly, and it has invariably worked.

Pallas

Gooseberry If it is just a hobby, then I don’t really need to excel in it, nor do I need to worry that my progress is not fast enough, I can just sit on the bench and concentrate on my practice, be playful, and fully enjoy every moment of it 🙃

I applaud both you and @Nightowl for knowing what you want from piano and finding a way to maximize your enjoyment of it. I don't think you can ask for better than that!