Thank you both!
BTW I thought Iād share a few more details about the jury, in case anyone is curious.
So, this all takes place in one of the music buildings on campus (of course) and at this time of the semester, everyone has these jury examinations so thereās lots of crazy energy. Yesterday was a Saturday, but the building was full of students coming and going to exams, carrying sheet music, instrumentsā¦ and of course, waiting in the hallways, pacing nervouslyā¦
I had access to a practice room, so I got there early and went into the practice room to warm up a bit. Then I went to wait in the hallways so I wouldnāt miss my start time. There was another student there, a lot of the time, students look at me and they canāt figure out what Iām doing there, because I look like one of their profs rather than a fellow student! š
Anyway, when the student before me finished, he obviously thought it was his turn but when I was called, it looked like he was going to pass out. Poor kid!
The jury room is just the professorās office, rather than being conducted in a performance hall. Of course, as offices go, itās pretty large, with a big desk, some chairs, and two large-ish Steinway grand pianos.
Students are allowed to bring an audience to their jury, but from what I could see, I was the only one who did. I brought my husband so he could record it for me. So I introduced him to the lead instructor (heās already met my instructor) and then she to, him where to stand. I got set up and of course took time to adjust the bench and all of that.
I had printed out a list of all that Iāve worked on this semester, so I handed that to the lead instructor. She asked a few things about what was on the list, and about the recital I played in in February. I also printed out the score for the piece (although weāre not required to do that, but since this is a contemporary piece that I knew she wouldnāt know, I wanted to). Then I got settled and played my piece.
Oh, also my teacher was sitting behind me and off to the bass side. The lead instructor was sitting to the side, treble side. It was kind of like being surrounded! But it felt like a very supportive environment rather than harsh or judgmental.
When I finished, they both complimented me, and the lead instructor talked about how intricate the piece was. I thanked the lead for allowing me to be in the program as a non-degree seeking student, and then we left the room. When I got back out into the hallway, the student was still there, looking a little paranoid, and there several other students now lined up as well.
My teacher stepped out with me and gave me a little bit of feedback, mostly praise really, noting how much improvement I made on the āfocus problem,ā and complimenting the performance overall, so that was nice. Then she had to go as well, because she had go to another room to run the juries for another big group of students.
One of the things that make this so stressful is that more than any other perfomance, you have one shot, it feels like āall or nothingā because you play one piece and one piece only, it feels like the clock is ticking, you know that there are tons of other students in line after youā¦
When I play in recitals or pretty much any kind of perfomance, I always play more than one piece. And I actually decided not to play in the community music school recitals anymore (where I took lessons before I started the uni classes) because they only let you play one piece, all the other players are kids and itās like this unpleasant assembly line sort of thing. I decided I didnāt want to do that anymore and that I only wanted to play in recitals where I could play more than one piece because that just significantly reduces the āall or nothingā pressure.
So in a way, the jury has some of that pressure, and assembly line feeling. But itās different because the teachers are there for you and itās very much pedagogical. And unlike a kids recital, which is full of kids who donāt want to be there, and their parents, who only want to hear their kid, in the jury, thereās no unhappy audience.
I feel like playing the jury (and prepping for the jury!) benefits me and my playing/performance development in ways the kids recital never could. And I do feel like it will make public performing easier, which one thing thatās really important to me.
And now that Iāve done it once, I feel like it will be easier next time. Hopefully! š
Ok thatās enough rambling for this morning, if you made it this far, thanks for reading! š