Sam And since I organize the annual concert for my piano group, I hear all the complaints.
I'm sorry! Esp. since none of those are things you can do anything about.
I like to have a sort of high seat, and at my home, I have an adjustable bench. But none of the piano rooms where I take lessons (there are multiple) have adjustable benches. I got a large bath towel in black, and folded up, it adds enough height for me. I have a cloth tote bag, the "bench towel" lives in there and is always ready, so I just grab it as I'm heading out on lesson days. Problem solved.
As for the height of the music, that's just something you have to get used to! I have a grand at home, and often (but not always) have my lesson on an upright. I just try to go with it.
It's more important to me to work with my teacher than to have the sheet music sitting where I'm used to seeing it.