ShiroKuro When improvising I feel confident that I can recover from any fumbles, and since it’s a brand new piece who’s to say that was a wrong note? Really, I meant to do that!
Do you ever have moments where you completely lose what you're doing and your fingers stop?
When I'm playing my jury piece, there are several spots where it's a similar series of notes, but then it either moves into pattern A, pattern B, or pattern C. (I think a lot of pieces are like that).
Anyway, sometimes, I am playing and I move into the wrong pattern. When that happens, I generally just keep playing and "play through" it.
But other times, I move into the wrong pattern and it's like I've turned the corner and stepped into a parallel universe. I have no idea where I am, and my fingers just stop. In the worst instances, I have to back up to familiar spot and go through it again (like Ron and Harry trying to ram their luggage cart into Platform 9 and 3/4 but just hitting solid wall 😛
In practice sessions, I do various things to prevent this (of course!) but one of the side effects of performance anxiety is that sometimes this "just" happens.
In improvising, as you say, there's no rule that you have to be moving into pattern B (for example), but on the other hand, I could still imagine the pianist takes a (musical) turn and finds themself somewhere completely unexpected, which would be disorienting. Does that ever happen when you're improvising? (whether due to stage fright or not)
I have certainly experienced getting lost and having to stop when playing pieces I've learned. This happens when my conscious mind wanders while I'm playing and my unconscious mind keeps going on its own. At some point my conscious mind notices that I'm playing the piano and I jump back in and have no idea what's going on and worst case I stop and back up to some known spot to reorient myself. I don't remember that happening during a recital but it does happen when I'm just playing for fun.
My mind wanders when I'm running too! I'll be running in the woods on familiar trails while ruminating on various things going on in my life. At some point my mind comes back to the moment and I look around and realize I have no idea where I am. I don't stop running, but it takes a few landmarks for me to reorient myself in the real world.
As far as the piano is concerned, learning to improvise has changed the dynamics of my playing. When I'm improvising my mind tends not to wander as it can when I'm playing a piece I've learned. Since I'm creating as I'm playing I tend to stay in the moment in a nice flow state. I certainly play notes that I didn't intend to play, but the skills I developed for playing through mistakes in recitals when I was young serve me well and I just keep going. Sometimes I follow a new direction suggested by the unintentional note, and sometimes I let it devolve into a dissonant chromatic mess and that can actually be really fun and lead to new ideas for improvisation.
I haven't found myself running into a musical dead end while improvising. There is always somewhere to go. At each moment I pick a direction and go with it.
When I'm playing a piece that I've learned and I make a mistake or wake up in the middle of it not knowing where I am, sometimes I can keep playing, improvising in the right key while part of my mind tries to figure out where I was. Either I find my way back to the piece or I give up on the piece I was playing and continue improvising. Being able to do this is comforting because I feel like I'm more capable of recovering from bad performance scenarios than I used to be.
All of my recent performance experience has been in casual settings so I don't know how these new skills would hold up in a more formal recital!
Improvising has greatly enhanced my enjoyment of the piano and I encourage anyone who is interested to give it a try!