Words inspired by DP discussions on that "other" piano forum. Chat GPT and I do indeed commiserate. 😛
In Search of the Holy Pivot (Psalm of the Purist)
O pianist noble, so weary, so true,
Thou hast tested all keyboards, yet none shall quite do.
Their makers cry “realism!” boldly, in vain,
For nothing feels righteous but Steinway’s domain.
Thou smitest the plastic, thou scornest the spring,
“A pivot too short, the notes do not sing!
The bass falleth flatwards, the treble doth shriek,
No pedal hath offered the damp’ning I seek.”
And lo, thou demandest, with anguish sincere:
“Where hides the una corda? I find it not here!
Their resonance promised is spectral and thin,
But phantoms, not overtones, dwell there within.”
Then Kawai descended, salvation proclaimed,
With wood keys and wonders so lavishly named.
The faithful cried out, “Behold! ’Tis the One!”
Yet thou didst reply, “Nay, the trial’s not done.”
“All garbage! All worthless! False idols! False lies!
I lift up my voice with lament to the skies.
Shall heaven not grant me, O merciful hand,
A grand piano that weighs twenty pounds on the stand?
“Am I doomed to wander showroom floors eternal,
My soul out of tune with these instruments infernal?
Full-length wooden keys, with resonance divine,
Priced under a thousand — O Lord, let it be mine!"