Recital Report

ShiroKuro

So by way of a recital report... it was "ok" but I wish it had been better. But thankfully, Mr. SK took videos of both pieces, and after listening, really, the whole thing wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was. Thank goodness for evidence!

The first piece, Wishing, started ok but it got the brunt of my shaky hands and even though I played the piano before the recital started (just for a few minutes), I was still super distracted by the unfamiliarity of it. I don't really like the piano, and I was distracted by thinking about how it sounded muddy and I didn't like the pedal... 😅 Also, they have it up on a piano dolly, and when you press the pedal, the whole piano sort of moves a bit. I hate that because it's disorienting and feels like playing on quicksand. There were some very obvious slips and I stopped noticeably at two points. But I ended ok-ish.

Then the second piece, New Day started out really well, and my shaky hands were calmer, and I was used to the shaky piano. There were tons of places where I didn't play something as written or skipped a part etc., but they were the kinds of mistakes no one else would notice. There was a nice forward momentum, I didn't stop etc.

So that was good. And definitely I ended strong, but that is in large part because I got out the worst part of the nerves during the first piece.

One thing is that I should have played slower. But nerves explains that.... I wasn't spinning-out-of-control fast, so I guess that's ok.

Also, I think it was overall better than the last public recital I played, which was in November. But no where near as good as I can play when I play for people at my house. 😃

I really need more than two public recitals per year.... But for now, that's what I got and I'll take it. 🙂

Rob

ShiroKuro I am so pleased for you, that your performance went well.
Congratulations!

TLH21

Glad to hear you feel it went well.

navindra

Thank you so much for sharing your report and experience!

This experience of both shaky hands and feeling like the piano is subpar and being attuned to every single fault of the piano is so familiar to me.

Bravo on participating and notching some extra public performances on your belt! 👏

ShiroKuro

navindra This experience of both shaky hands and feeling like the piano is subpar and being attuned to every single fault of the piano is so familiar to me.

Yeah I wish I could just ignore it… you know, the pianos at the community music school I go to are all subpar, but I’m used to them and I don’t generally care (although depending on what lesson room we end up in, there are some I dislike less…)

I think this (ignoring subpar pianos) must be something professionals, and uni music majors, get very good at, because they’re playing different pianos all the time.

Ahh well, I did ok and it was, as you say, “notching some extra public performances on my belt!” 🙂

Player1

ShiroKuro I think this (ignoring subpar pianos) must be something professionals, and uni music majors, get very good at, because they’re playing different pianos all the time.

From what I understand, most "pros" have a piano that travels with them on the road.

ShiroKuro Ahh well, I did ok and it was, as you say, “notching some extra public performances on my belt!” 🙂

You need to play more in public. Try an informal setting with a keyboard like you're busking. Hauling the gear is probably going to be a pain, but it sounds like you need the time in front of strange faces to help you overcome your nerves.

You'll need a repertoire where you can play for an hour or so before quitting. Best acceptance by the crowd will be from playing pieces that most people are familiar with, even if only a little bit. They don't have to be complex or high level, just enjoyable by the average radio station listener.

pianoloverus

Player1 From what I understand, most "pros" have a piano that travels with them on the road.

Only a tiny percent. Definitely less than 5% but probably much less than 1%.

twocats

Player1 From what I understand, most "pros" have a piano that travels with them on the road.

Um, where did you hear that? I can only think of Horowitz, Krystian Zimmerman, and Angela Hewitt. Angela did not travel with her Fazioli in the concert I just heard her play in town, and my friend and I both think she was struggling with the loaner concert Fazioli because it looks new but is worn out and plays like a truck.

Also, travel keyboards do not play at all like a real piano, and getting more experience in that wouldn't help to play recitals on different grand pianos.

Player1 You'll need a repertoire where you can play for an hour or so before quitting.

Your answer to stage fright is preparing an hour of repertoire and... busking??

If you don't have your own experience on how to improve, please stop making stuff up and presenting it as "the answer" and not just a suggestion. This is just like you telling me to wear a microfiber scarf for my hand sweat issues. I was trying to be polite back then but it's the silliest idea I've ever heard and you kept insisting that it was the answer and wouldn't drop it!

ShiroKuro

Player1 You need to play more in public.

Your comment tells me that you haven't read anything I've written here about my attempts to create more opportunities to perform, or about my approach to battling performance anxiety. So while I appreciate your willingness to help, I find it a little presumptuous to be told what I "need to do." Perhaps a better approach would be to start by asking questions, rather than making assumptions?

ShiroKuro

pianoloverus Player1 From what I understand, most "pros" have a piano that travels with them on the road.

Only a tiny percent. Definitely less than 5% but probably much less than 1%.

And for the record, @pianoloverus is correct. It is very uncommon for professional pianists to travel with an acoustic piano. By far the most common arrangement is that they play whatever piano the concert hall has. The only people that do take their pianos are maybe huge stars, or big pop stars like Elton John, or pop musicians who travel with digitals.

Stub

twocats .....and plays like a truck.

May I steal that? 😀

Player1

ShiroKuro

My apologies.

I did read your entire post, and the posts in the other thread. However, if you find my comments offensive, I will refrain from making them.

Stub

ShiroKuro, glad to hear it went well for you, especially considering the challenges of the recital piano. Playing on pianos that are on dollies is for the birds. Good for you for having the courage to work on your performance anxiety!

ShiroKuro

Stub ShiroKuro, glad to hear it went well for you, especially considering the challenges of the recital piano. Playing on pianos that are on dollies is for the birds. Good for you for having the courage to work on your performance anxiety!

Thank you!!

Re the dolly... I get why they do it, because they rearrange the stage depending on the activities, and they can't hire in piano movers every time. But I'm sure I've played other pianos on dollies that were better, less wobbly.

At least the wheels were locked and the piano didn't start slilding away from me while I was playing!! 😃

twocats

Stub May I steal that? 😀

Haha sure! I heard it somewhere else and it's definitely not original to me 🙂

ShiroKuro

For anyone still here... Now that a day has passed since the recital, I feel pretty good about it, mainly because I have the recording and that lets me have a more objective take on the two performances than just what was in my head immediately after the recital.

And now I have to quick switch gears because I'm scheduled to play two piano+violin pieces on May 12th. The pieces are mostly polished and at tempo, but I have been neglecting them to prep for yesterday's recital.

This will be at my house, so it's not the same kind of "shaky hands" event, but there will be about 20 people there.... No pressure! 😃

And then after that I'm planning to record a different piece for PT's recital, so .... lots to do and no time to wallow in thoughts about yesterday! 🙂

Oh, and my music theory class starts on the 13th. Yikes!

keystring

Congratulations!!!!!
(edit) Oh wait - I only read the last post and missed the one before. Every time you do this you get stronger, and at some point I imagine the shaky hands will be a distant memory as well. The important thing is that you played your music, regardless of how steady your hands were at the start. So still: congratulations.

ShiroKuro

Thank you @keystring

keystring at some point I imagine the shaky hands will be a distant memory as well.

I don't think this will happen. I just think I will always have the shakes to some degree.... What I want to happen, what I am working to make happen, is that I get better and better at ignoring them and that even if I have the shakes, it doesn't impact my playing. Well, that, and I'd like to not have to sacrifice the first piece to the shakes! 😅

The important thing is that you played your music, regardless of how steady your hands were at the start.

thank you! 🙂

twocats

ShiroKuro I just think I will always have the shakes to some degree....

Did exercising help to reduce the shakes? I have to remember to do that again at my next casual playing event!

thepianoplayer416

The important thing is that you feel good about your performance.

I don’t have a problem playing pieces in an informal setting including friends gatherings or at a public piano. I tend to mess up when playing at a scheduled event with everybody staring at me. Even after a few hours of preparation I still play wrong notes.

I read somewhere that Glenn Gould used to ship his Steinway grand from 1 end of N America to the other. And he would only sit on his favorite chair that got worn out over the years.

ShiroKuro

twocats Did exercising help to reduce the shakes?

I think it did, in that I still had the shakes but it didn’t seem quite as intense. I still totally butchered the first piece though. 😆

thepianoplayer416 I don’t have a problem playing pieces in an informal setting including friends gatherings or at a public piano. I tend to mess up when playing at a scheduled event with everybody staring at me. Even after a few hours of preparation I still play wrong notes.

For me, it’s not the “everybody staring at me” part, because when I play for people at my house, they’re all staring at me 😃 But I suspect the formality of these recitals is part of what contributes to it for me. I’ve written elsewhere at PT about that, but I just do not get the shakes like this when I play at home, and although I don’t have the chance to play at a public piano very often, the last time I did (which was last fall, before the fall recital, as it happens), no shakes.

Which is unfortunate because if I could just experience playing with the shakes on a more regular basis, I am sure they would bother me less…

I do a lot of public speaking, like a lot. And depending on the event, there might be 200 people there, and sometimes I’m very nervous (esp. when it’s a high stakes event, or like in spring 2023 when I was interviewing for my current job and I had to give a job talk which I knew would basically determine whether I got this job or not). In those situations, I’m super nervous, and my hands shake. But I’m not playing the piano (obs) so it doesn’t bother me. But also, I am so used to it that all the other feelings of nerves don’t impact my performance. I am confident that no one else notices I’m nervous, I just ignore the nerves and do my job, which is to give a research presentation or whatever.

So I feel like if I were in these piano situations more, more formal playing, and getting the shakes like once a week, I would get past it. Not that my hands wouldn’t shake anymore, but that it wouldn’t derail me.

But although I can create opportunities for myself to play (like the event coming up in two weeks) it’s just not the same as the formal events …. Anyway I’m starting to repeat myself here so… 😃